Star Trek


Year Released: 2009
Directed by: J.J. Abrams
Starring: Chris PineZachary Quinto, Bruce Greenwood,
Production Company: Universal Pictures
Release Date: May 8, 2009

“Star Trek”, the titular science fiction/space opera known by all, watched by many, and appreciated by the few has been re-imagined in J.J. Abrams super summer blockbuster. This certainly isn’t your father’s Star Trek, filled with action, bright lights, lens flares and space; the final frontier.

2009’s Star Trek heads back to it’s roots introducing young versions of Kirk, Spock and company. A titanic task? Not quite, considering major back stories have been traded in for a time travel plot that lends to much needed explosions (Hey, I love my eye candy too). The plot plays it safe, not getting into any new ground and treats science with a ‘suspend your belief’ attitude. It’s seeing the characters assemble onscreen, and Abram’s deft use of scenery and characterization that really shine.


Folded Arms are the new thing in the future

Follow me now: Nero, a Romulan from 129 years in the future has come back to ‘the beginning’ (of the Trek universe) because future Spock couldn’t save Romulus from collapsing. The black hole formed from the collapse sucks in Nero and Future Spock, plunging Nero into ‘the beginning’, he destroys the U.S.S Kelvin where commanding officer Kirk Sr., has assumed control, his son is about to be born and he must pilot the ship on a collision course after evacuating the entire crew with busted warp drives. Nero sits around for about 25 years waiting for future Spock to arrive so he can get revenge by destroying Vulcan with the very technology the Vulcan Science Academy created (known as red matter). So it’s up to our very handsome/great looking crew of the U.S.S Enterprise to go in, destroy the ship, save the day and create a Star Trek for the masses. The Roddenberry-verse physics aside, as long as you know that black holes equal time travel, and class M planets exist with scary looking monsters, and total and complete coincidences happen, you should be absolutely fine. Just suspend your damn belief already.

“Did you seriously sign on for the sequel?”

Chris Pine does an admirable job as James T. Kirk, successive captain of the Starship Enterprise. His energy and natural leadership slightly showing, although his douche bag like character is still lovable and enduring. Zachary Quinto was definitely born to play Spock, his cold demeanor picked up from his time as Sylar on TV’s Hero’s, he dons the Vulcan ears and detached voice with ease, simmering emotion under the surface as the half Vulcan/Human hybrid and Kirk’s best friend. The rest of the ensemble cast play their parts magnificently, no one seems to miss a beat and the slight nods to the original series are deft in execution. Even Leonard Nimoy shows up in Spock attire, his first outing in nearly a decade, proudly handing the touch from one generation to the next; although it seem like he was in this version a little longer than necessary. I’m sure all the fan boys were wetting themselves in excitement when the pointy eared one entered from stage right.

There’s only a few moments of disbelief, and it’s all in the science of show; consider that against the numerous times Scotty has outright bent the laws of physics in the original television show and movies. It’s all in good nature however, once you realize you’ve been beamed aboard another reality, one with much better looking people and alien races with humanoid bodies and slightly larger/smaller eyes or different skin color. Bridging the continuities was an immense task, keeping with the newer, sexier generation just got a whole lot easier.


No caption, just a green skinned Orion Girl in her bra and panties

If you haven’t witnessed the rebirth of Star Trek yet, I highly suggest you do so. Reading up on the pre-reviews of supposed mega-blockbusters as Transformers and Terminator: Salvation, I can already see a pattern emerging: All these franchises are getting slammed for lack of care, they’re not lovingly crafted as they should be, and are getting shoehorned with last minute rewrites and CGI over actual plot or any good character emotion. These movies aren’t meant to be overly cerebral, but it’s pretty clear the movie going public wants more substance than the flash and bang approach. Star Trek thankfully is light hearted enough to take all this in stride and put together a fun, exhilarating thrill ride that won’t disappoint.

9.5 out of 10

Movie Review: Hancock

Hancock

Year Released: 2008
Directed by: Peter Berg
Starring: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman
Production Company: Sony Pictures

Something must have happened during production on Hancock. I’m talking about the great first act, the build up of the character, the Superman complex: a God trapped in a man’s body, the initial hurdle Hancock had to overcome and the title character’s progression into becoming the God everyone needs, rather than everyone hates. It was artfully handled, I felt for Will Smith. His portrayal of a Superhuman trapped in the everyman’s world of L.A., a crime infested city where each time he helps, and he’s causing more property damage while trying to stop the bad guys. He’s an alcoholic, but we still like him. He’s easily hateable, but there’s the one guy that truly believes in him, and gets him to reform (Jason Bateman). Instead of being grateful, the city is more satisfied pointing out his drinking habits and the whole ‘flying-while-drunk’ problem. So, to reform, his newly self-appointed P.R agent Ray (Bateman) makes it his mission to create a friendlier, family centric, professional Hancock. On good faith, he asks Hancock to do some time in a federal prison; reluctantly he complies – until the mayor needs his help in a downtown bank robbery/ hostage situation.

“Didn’t y’all like ALI?”

Okay, so at this point I’m not giving away too much, but he saves the hostages, puts the bad guys in jail and treats the people he’s saving with much more dignity and respect. He even asks a lady cop if it’s “Okay to have physical contact with her”. Seriously. So, at this point, you’d think the movie goes into a nice blue sky where Hancock flies away and we’re all happy that he’s become a round character and overcome his demons.

Wrong.

Instead, we’re treated with what seems like a half finished storyline involving Charlize Theron being his super-being wife. The twist here is that they can’t be in too close contact otherwise they start to lose their powers. Cue in some weird tornado’s in downtown L.A. when the two fight each other, and the fact that even though the movie sets the ground rules that: the closer they are, the weaker they get, the movie does a great job of not following this formula.

“I sooooo need to piss.”

For instance: During the fight between Hancock and Theron, she at one point throws a dump truck directly on Hancock. He’s able to get back up, no problem. Later on, in a hospital part, he’s getting the snot beat out of him by a couple of thugs: and for some reason Theron feels Hancock’s pain(?). To say the least, the inconsistencies of powers, the magical additional events that happen when the couple is together, and the lack of support of story adds up to a dismal second act, and a confusing third act. The only saving grace for me was seeing Charlize Theron alongside Jason Bateman again: I was hoping for some reference to ‘Arrested Development’, sadly, I was disappointed.

So we have a movie with an A-list star, major blockbuster bucks and a great marketing campaign. The videos were viral, and the public was pumped to see this as it’s been in development hell for at least 5 years. And for a movie in development that long, it sure felt rushed. The mythos isn’t properly explained, the Wolverine-esque amnesia back story that’s conveniently never revealed by Theron is never flushed out. The additional element such as the heat given off from Hancock and Theron together isn’t explained, and neither is the fact of how they were made or what the exact origins are. I’m sure the movie was written this way to get the public salivating for more, but the way the subject is handled is clumsy and we’re more annoyed than curious.

That being said, if were to grade Hancock on the first 40 minutes, it would stand alone as a pretty good movie. Taken with all the parts, it’s much more baffling, rushed and incomplete.

5.0 out of 10.

Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Year Released: 2008
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf
Production Company: LucasArts
Review done: 7:41 AM 6/23/2008

At some point after doing the Star Wars Prequels, Lucas must have been searching in his front pocket for change and found the script to Indy 4. Hey, I’m not saying it was done horribly, I just wish it came out a little bit earlier – as in before Shia LaBeouf started to make a name for himself in movies. I’m not a huge fan of the kid, and it’s plain to see why he’s there in the first place: to gap the generations, and to pull in the younger audiences. I could have done without his false bravado, as convincing as Spielberg’s direction was, that kid simply annoys me.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a throwback to the adventure serials of the 40’s and 50’s. Indiana Jones this time around has shown his age and the era has made a shift from 1940’s Nazi enemies to late 1950’s Cold War Russians. Harrison Ford as the titular character is back as the most Bad Ass bullwhip cracking, fedora wearing Archaeologist ever. For a guy in his 60’s he can still hold his own, throwing punches and doing most of his stunt work (even if it is done primarily in front of a blue screen). The storyline departs radically from the original series use of biblical and religious roots; this time around the plot point focuses on Aliens. That’s right, it sounds even a little bit harebrained to me; but you think about it- Spielberg has done ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’ and ‘E.T’, so at least he can make it look convincing. The Russians want to get their hands on a Crystal skull (yes, an Alien Skull) to make use of its powers for the U.S.S.R’s power arsenal. And it’s up to Indy and company to stop them.

“Spielberg promised this would all be blue screen!”

There’s a great deal done to keep the same feeling as the older Indy movies; the sets seem to be cut from the same cloth, the soundtrack feels the same, but the visuals are certainly different. Remember in Raiders of the Lost Ark, that part where Indy comes face to face with a cobra? In that scene you could see the reflection of the snake for a split moment. For the moment, that little imperfection, it was what made the movie for me, all the little things. These days the green and blue screen techniques used cover up all the imperfections and it looks a little layered. Believe me, you’ll notice it in the jungle scenes, especially when Shia LaBeouf is swinging through the trees Tarzan style with a bunch of CGI MONKEYS. If you think that sounded as ridiculous as it’s written, imagine my surprise that this movie spawned a catchphrase for a whole new generation.

I’m willing to forgive a lot since this is one of those adventure characters I fell in love with as a kid. That’s saying a lot, I can tolerate what’s going on between LaBeouf, a Boris and Natasha style Cate Blanchett, and a bunch of cartoony Russians in a comic book style plot. I mean, it’s still Indiana Jones; just sexed up for the 21st century with an X-Files twist. The first act, the need to find the Crystal Skull, the introduction of the main characters is worked beautifully; Spielberg has always masterfully given us characters we can care about no matter what the subject matter. The second act brings us further into this new Indy world, but by the third act, Jones doesn’t really have any motivation rather than to just get it over with. If it’s because he can get the seniors dinner discount at Applebee’s I can understand you got an obstacle to overcome buddy, but seriously: I wasn’t pulling for him in the last half hour. I think the problem was with Lucas’ script, did he really need the money? Obviously not. I’m sure he was digging around in his pocket and came out with the script treatment for Indy IV. Be that as it may, the other writers do pull their weight and at least make the dialogue somewhat plausible.

Harrison Ford shines a light on LaBeouf’s future career.

Indiana Jones is back and Harrison Ford is better than ever with his bad ass fedora. Bring some popcorn and tune out your mind for the ride. The parts where you have to suspend your belief are still fun, and heck the possibility of another Indy film keeps me coming back for more.

7.5 out of 10

Movie Review: Iron Man

Iron Man

Year Released: 2008
Directed by: John Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jeff Bridges, Gweneth Paltrow
Production Company: LivePlanet

As farfetched as having a guy build an exo-suit that can fly, punch through tanks, is bullet proof, and filled with more technology than the state of California, sounds pretty out there. But John Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. sell it, and sell it excellently. The Marvel comics roots are still there, yet thankfully, the realism is intact and the physics and storyline all make perfect sense. Bravo, Marvel studios, Bravo.

“I was sure I left my keys in here somewhere…”

Iron Man is the story of billionaire industrialist Tony Stark, played to perfection by the fast talking, ingenious Robert Downey Jr. whose company, Stark Industries supplies the United States military with high tech armaments. Stark is kidnapped by a Middle Eastern faction during a weapons test, and must find a means of escape with only his mechanically inclined mind. During the kidnap, his own manufactured weapons are to blame for shrapnel coming perilously close to his heart; as a result he’s tethered to a car battery powering an electro magnet making sure the shrapnel doesn’t kill him. He’s being kept alive by the terrorists so he can build them a weapon of mass destruction, a little something his company whipped up that can basically destroy a whole shit load of towns.

“Dammit, I just want to use the john”

With a little bit of physics, Stark creates a miniature Arc Reactor with which he can ‘power his own body for 50 lifetimes, or something really big for 15 minutes’. So what’s a billionaire industrialist to do? Build a sweet looking gigantic monster suit that can shoot 50 foot flames and can fly short distances. That’s what. Well, he does and it can. And it’s all believable (in the confines of this movie world at least). Stark high-tails it back to the good old U.S. of A and first thing he does is chomp down on a hamburger. At which point, he calls a press conference to tell the world he’s no longer making weapons of mass destruction. The decision doesn’t sit well with business partner Obidiah Stane (one bald Jeff Bridges), who’s in the business for pure profit rather than the consequences of destructive weapons. Meanwhile, Stark takes his original prototype used to escape and improves it with some bad ass technology; namely Marvel’s repulsor ray, coupled with a newer, more powerful arc reactor attached directly to his heart. The new exo-suit itself if believable and ultra-cool. Take the Robocop suit, add in super mobility, flight and the fact that Downey Jr. isn’t a re-animated corpse and you got yourself Iron Man.

Stark sets his sights for on Gweneth’s tight sweaters

Being a comic book geek, I should point out that Iron Man is Marvel comic’s version of the classic Batman. Batman was a billionaire son of Gotham city, who lost both his parents in a brutal robbery, and dedicated his life to improving his mind, body and fighting crime with the aid of bat-fear symbolism. Iron Man lost his father to a heart attack, was always mechanically inclined, had a shit load of money and used his cash to finance wars, and build an indestructible suit to fight crime. So, Tony Stark is who Bruce Wayne would be if his parent’s weren’t killed in front of him, and he enjoyed a drink or two once in a while. If I could pick between the two, I’d have gone the Iron Man route.

The real gem comes from the comedic timing of Downey Jr.’s attempts at creating the suit; between test flights in his garage where there’s at least a million dollars worth of classic cars, he’s shooting repulsor rays, falling through ceilings and getting a fire hose in the face from his pet robots. He’s able to weigh down his heavy pathos and genius mind with the carefree spirit needed to imagine these fantastic toys. Plus, he’s got a smoking hot assistant in Pepper Potts (Gweneth Paltrow), why a guy whose worth more than most third worlds would rather give it to Vanity Fair reporters instead of his assistant is beyond me; it could have been a writing flaw.

“Can you point me in the direction of Canadian Tire?”

The special effects are awesome, try picking out the parts that are CGI versus live action. The late, great Stan Winston himself had a hand in creating the goliath first prototype suit; sadly it was the last project he was involved in, and the mythos of special effects wiz Winston was just the icing on the cake. The pacing is adult and doesn’t once make you feel like you’re watching some kids movie repackaged into a re-release, all the parts fit together nicely, and if you watch past the credits, you’ll be in for a little treat.

Marvel studios is gearing up for something big; since they own most of Hollywood, thanks to titles such as X-Men, Incredible Hulk and to a lesser extent Fantastic Four, the company is more on the lips of the populace. The comic book giant is keeping the characters and storylines canon in the movie universe and there might be a little mixing and collaborations in the future, so just keep your eyes peeled for that little special mega-blockbuster all the fanboy geeks have been waiting 20+ years for.

If Iron Man is any indication of the level of quality to come from the house of words, then I’m sold on the plan.

8.5 out of 10